Preparation

I'm trying to get ready for tomorrow; my surgery is scheduled for 10:15 AM, but there's little I can do in the way of preparation.  I'm trying to find that spot between acceptance and expectation that God will intervene with a miraculous healing.  It's not easy.  I know some people question my faith -- that if I had enough faith, I would have been healed by now; others see me as resigned to surgery, while other see me as quitter, having given up on faith.  Surgery is never pleasant.  I don't think anyone ever looks forward to it other than in the sense that it will bring relief from a physical problem.  The knowledge that the doctor(s) will be digging around inside my backbone is definitely not one I relish, nor do I look forward to the pain of recovery.  But who is to say why any of us go through physical pain and suffering on this earth?  Christians suffer from ailments, including cancer, just like non-believers, and yes, they die untimely deaths, too, so who can say that one has enough faith and another doesn't?  My surgery tomorrow isn't resignation on my part, but acceptance of what God has allowed; my belief that God could intervene still holds strong, but because God has chosen NOT to intervene as of this moment, I must accept and prepare for what lies ahead.I firmly believe that everything that comes my way -- the good, the bad, and everything in-between -- must go through God's hands; He allows everything that happens in my life, even those things that are painful.  It is through those processes that I must lean on His strength and grace and not on my own.  It is through those processes that I grow in patience, character and hope.  Romans 5:3-5:  And not only that, but we also glory in tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.  Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
So I'll go to the hospital with hope that all will be well, knowing that God has allowed this for a reason, even if the only result is me developing more trust in Him.