Friday, December 28, 2012

Goodbye, Mom

As I write this, we are planning to travel to Huntsville, Alabama, for my mother-in-law's funeral.  She lived in that town for approximately 50 years in the house she and her husband built in 1960.  When her health became such that she could no longer live by herself, we moved her to an assisted living facility in Raleigh so she could be close to us.  I never met her husband as he passed away in 2000 at the age of 80.
We are so thankful we had time to say goodbye to Mom before she passed from this life.  It's never easy to see someone you love die, yet we all must die sooner or later.  As she lingered on her hospital bed, unaware and unresponsive, our hearts were broken knowing that she'd soon breathe her last breath on earth and would slip into another realm which is more real than this earthly realm.  I didn't mourn for what she was gaining - eternal life - but for my loss and the loss of those around me. 
My husband held his mother's hand, kissed it gently as tears dripped and cried at the loss of her touch.  Her hair was pure white, a crown she wore proudly, and was as fine as baby hair.  Skin as soft as a baby's bottom graced her face, and her hands were spotted from age.  Several inches of height had been stolen to osteoporosis and her middle had thickened with age, but she was Mom.  She was special.  But she is ours no more in the physical realm.
We've cleaned out her apartment, given away her clothes, and divided the remaining furniture and useful objects; she doesn't need them any more.  She's free from all the drudgery of this life, from a body that no longer functions the way it used to, and from the restrictions of being human.  She now has her glorified body and is clothed in righteousness as she worships the God who saved her.
Even as we continue to grieve and say our final goodbyes, we'll remember the woman we knew, the mother, grandmother, greatgrandmother, mother-in-law, and above all - friend - that graced the earth with her presence for the last 90+ years.  Cherished memories now cling to our hearts and minds like raindrops that water the earth as they fall from the sky. 
I've been privileged to know Elizabeth Jones Stewart these last 6.5 years.  But because of Christ, I know I will see her again when He calls my name and I rise to meet Him - what a blessed assurance!
Taken December 23, 2012 - my husband, Bob, his oldest daughter, Ellen (pregnant with her second child), and Mom. 

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Great Loss

My dear mother-in-law, Elizabeth Stewart, passed away at the age of 90 yesterday afternoon after suffering a massive stroke around 8:30 in the morning.  As life support was removed, she was surrounded by children, grandchildren, and extended family as she slipped from this life into her heavenly Father's arms.  Her life was well-lived, and she has received her reward, but oh, how we miss her already.

Elizabeth Jones Stewart - October 18, 1922 - December 26, 2012.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas 2012

My Christmas card to my family, friends, and readers:

Little sheep on hillside grazing
Old men shuddering from the cold
Rugged rocks and land surrounding
Dark and cold that night of old
Angels brok their quiet musings
Night vanished in brilliant skies
Daring trumpet sounds were fusing
Strident arches reaching high
As the angels told the shepherds
Voices ringing loud and clear
Indewelling God had come to save us
Our Christ, the Saviour, the Son so dear
Ushered from the throne of heaven and
Resting now in a manger near

This is how Christmas started - on a hillside covered wtih sheep and tended by cold shepherds.  As we sit in our warm, comfortable homes, surrounded by gifts and family, may we renew our search for the Christ-Child - our Lord and Saviour!

Merry Christmas, and may God's blessings be with you all each day, and may you seek God's will to make the world a better place because of the gift that He sent to all mankind - Jesus.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Cookie Decorating Day!

After baking 18 dozen (no, that's not a typo) cookies on Saturday, the grandkids came over Sunday afternoon to decorate them.  This has become a tradition, but with 7 grandchildren and another one on the way, it's now a major project also but certainly one we enjoy.  Only the oldest grandchild, Luke, did not come, so we had 6 children, ages 1.5 years (Julian), 3 years (Benny), 4 years (Cooper and Wilson), 5 years (Niland), and 10 years (Cami - our only granddaughter).  They stayed for 4 hours so the parents could have a break and get some things done in preparation for Christmas without children in tow.  My son, Nathan, stayed to help us with the kids, especially little Julian, who ate more cookies than anyone, I think!  Frosting and sprinkles were everywhere on the table we had set up, but thankfully we have hardwood floors so the mess was easily cleaned.  When the kids finished or simply quit decorating their 3 dozen cookies each, we played on the Wii and took a brief walk outside to see the ducks, which had flown off to somewhere else. 
It was nice to have a breather of normalcy after the massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, but as I looked at all our beautiful grandchildren, I couldn't fathom losing one of them.  They are all so very precious and fiercely loved.  My heart grieved even as I enjoyed our very busy day and basked in the miracle of family.
We hugged them all a bit harder when they left laden with their boxes of cookies.  I've attached some photos of our day.  Please enjoy your children/grandchildren/family and never take life for granted; no one is guaranteed tomorrow.  We have only the moment we have. 




I'll soon post my Christmas card to family, friends, and my readers.  Enjoy the moment that God has given you. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Tragedy Touches Home

The grief that has shocked the nation, even the entire world, seemingly taking our hearts out and crushing them before our eyes, has come close to my home.  An event such as this does not just affect the parents and local community; no, it reaches out with its tentacles and lays hold of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and dear friends across the country with a tenacity that can only be described as verocious.  Like an unstoppable cancer, it spreads across the country, destroying relationships and changing lives forever.
My daughter and her husband have been close friends with a couple in their church for years, and it is this couple that has lost a niece in the tragedy.  The husband of this couple is the brother of the mother of one of the slain girls.  This couple have children of their own, and their daughter has been very good friends with my granddaughter for years, so I have a 10-year-old granddaughter who is learning a hard lesson about the horrible realities of life as her own parents deal with the suffering of their friends.  At the same time, my granddaughter is showing her strength and compassion to her friend Jordan at the loss of Jordan's 6-year-old cousin.  Countless other people across this nation are also suffering the results of one person's incomprehensible fatal choice.
My office is located close to a shooting range, and on nice days, which we've enjoyed this week, I sit in my car and enjoy the sunshine during my lunch break.  I don't usually pay attention to the sound of guns in the distance, but I do now.  I understand the description of the shots as popping sounds, for that's what they are.  Even though I know the place down the street is for sport, I can't help but think that they are using for personal enjoyment and pleasure instruments that were chosen to annihilate defenseless children.  Just as fire can be beneficial or destructive beyond belief, so too can guns be for fun or for death.  It all depends on who holds the gun in his or her hand and the choices they make.
I've been following the news closely, as has almost everyone, and don't understand the frenzy to purchase the style of gun that was turned on our most precious possession, our children, by the shooter.  I don't understand the "need" for a law-abiding citizen to own a gun.  Surely the statistics would support my belief that few of us, even in high-crime areas, are ever threatened in our own homes.  And I believe the statistics would support the fact that more children are accidentally killed by other children in their homes, their place of assumed safety, than are perpetrators of evil who break into homes.  The more guns we have, the more frequently this will continue to occur. 
I read an article the other night on-line somewhere (as you, I've read and heard so much that I can't keep some bits of information straight) that Newtown/Sandy Hook were taking down their Christmas decorations, and my heart cried out, "NO!  Don't take down the decorations!  You still have other children who need Christmas!"  This is the time of year when we celebrate the birth of Christ, the Saviour of the world, and if we put aside this time of celebration, even when we suffer incomprehensible loss, evil wins.  Our remaining children still need Christmas, and this Christmas in particular, even though it will be different.
Good needs to overcome evil, especially now.  "The thief comes not but to steal, to kill and to destroy; I am come that you may have life, and that you might have it more abundantly."  (John 10:10)  Yes, this act was one of evil perpetrated by the enemy of our souls, whose sole purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.  Through God alone will we find life, and not just existence, but abundant life. 
Jesus said, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)  It's a sure thing that we will have tribulation in this world, and losing a child in such an unimaginable event is undoubtedly one of the most heart-rendering events a human can endure, yet through Christ we can overcome because HE has overcome, including death. 
So how do we make sense of these two verses of scripture?  How do we analyze and understand that Jesus came to give us life as we face the loss of so many innocent children?  We can't.  It's impossible.  The only way to endure and ultimately overcome this unbelieveably sad event is to have faith that God's word is true.  Joy will come some morning.  Beauty will rise from the ashes.  Life will be good and full again even as it remains different than what it was or would have been had this tragic event not been visited upon us.
The innocent children still live but in a different place - the place we call heaven.  They are no longer here, and it is the sudden and brutal way in which they were taken from our midst that crushes our senses and hearts.  As human beings, we know only this world and don't fathom heaven, which is God's home and is promised to us who believe on, adhere to, rely on, and cling to Him while we live on this earth.  Heaven is real; it's forever.  The slain children are there, enjoying the presence of their Creator.  All of their questions have been answered, but many of ours will not ever be answered because we live on this side of eternity.  Families will be reunited with these lost loved ones some day, and only then will all questions be answered, only then will things be revealed. 
As everyone who has been affected, from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, best friends, casual friends, acquaintances, the survivors, the first responders, police officers -- the list goes on and on --and even those who live in the Newtown/Sandy Hook areas or have in the past and feel rooted to that special place -- as all work through the grieving process, let us find hope in Jesus, who is acquainted wtih our sorrows and who offers peace, healing, and hope for eternal life.
In time, life will move on, only differently than what had been expected. 
God is good, never evil.  Read the end of The Book - He wins. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Breaking Hearts

The world's atttention has turned to Newtown, Connecticut, as the tragedy has unfolded since Friday morning.  Before moving to North Carolina, I lived in Danbury, Connecticut, a large town adjacent to Newtown and Sandy Hook.  I used to travel through Newtown on occasion and lived in Danbury for 10 years, so my heart goes out to those in that area.  The unspeakable evil that visited Sandy Hook Elementary School has broken the hearts of so many people, robbed family of precious members, and shocked a nation which cherishes its right to bear arms.  Guns are instruments of death, either for the animal kingdom or for human beings, and our founding fathers didn't know life without the need for firearms for protection and to provide food.  Guns fired a single shot and had to be reloaded, which took time to accomplish.  Life was different.
I could go into a full-length tirade about the need for a change of mind in our country regarding firearms, but I won't.  Instead I'll pray for the comfort of those in Newtown and family around the United States who have been devastated by this tragedy.  It's difficult to fathom, difficult to process, and still difficult to believe.  As the names of the children are released, tears form in my eyes at the beautiful lives that were so needlessly snuffed out.  The only comfort I can find in this is that all of those children are in the presence of God, free from pain and fear, free from harm forever. 
There are no words that can pour a healing balm on the hearts of these parents, family, and friends of the slain, both children and adults.  Time will ease the extreme suffering and loss, but the pain will never be erased.  Faith in God is the only place to find the strength to cope.  As one parent said, it is his faith that will get him through. 
God has given humans the freedom of choice and action, and the shooter chose to act in that freedom to do evil.  It is now up to the rest of us to use our freedom of choice and action to help those who are hurting and to use our lives the best way we can with God's help.
May God bless and comfort those in Newtown, Connecticut, as the healing process begins.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Is it Christmas Yet?

We finally started our Christmas shopping Tuesday evening.  The store at which we shopped (yes, it was only one store) was busy, but not like it would be on the weekends.  More shopping has been done on line, and it will be nice to see boxes arrive at my doorstep without having to drive somewhere, park (if indeed I could actually find a parking space), walk through store after store, and wait in long lines to check out.  And I'm really going to have to press things to get my shopping done because tonight (Thursday) is my grocery shopping night; tomorrow evening is Family Night at our church (talent show and concert); Saturday I need to bake 18 dozen cookies (3 dozen for each grandchild) so they'll have cookies to decorate on Sunday afternoon when they come over for the traditional Christmas Cookie Decorating Day (maybe it should be a national holiday!).  All but the youngest grandchild will be participating, so we'll have a house full of kids ranging in age from 3 - 14 years from 1 - 5 p.m. Sunday.  And then some of them will be staying for dinner.  Do you think I'll be tired when they leave?  We won't have any time to shop for presents this weekend!
Because Bob's daughters and their families are coming for Christmas celebration on December 23, that will leave us 6 days to finish our shopping!  Even though my fingers are flying as fast as they can, I still have several things to knit/crochet before December 25, so I'm glad it's not Christmas yet!
One of the things I love to do when I'm at home preparing for Christmas is listen to music of the season.  As I sing along, I'm reminded of the best gift I've ever received, the gift of God's Son, and that's the reason why I give to others.  The season may be hectic, crazy, rushed, and even frustrating at times, but we celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Christ.  "Happy Holidays" does not cut it for me.  I will say "Merry Christmas" because it is the essence of the meaning of the holiday, the fragrance of the personhood of God the Creator. 
Is it Christmas yet?  No, but God's gift is available 24/7, not just on December 25.  You can look for Jesus and find him any day of the year.
Happy shopping!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Preparations

Anticipation of the celebration of Christmas becomes palatable as the days rush toward December 25.  Bob and I have almost completed decorating our home, inside and out, and it's been a week-long process that occurs only during the evening hours because we both hold full-time jobs.  The tree, which has been sitting in water outside for a week, will come into the house tonight, and we'll string lights and garlands and probably some decorations.  Why not all?  Because we'll be hosting a party tomorrow night, and we ask that those attending help decorate our tree.  The party will be attended by your church friends, and the group is called "Overdrive" and is composed of people over 50 (some much over 50!), both couples and single people.  So preparations have been underway, but we still have a lot to do.  Here are a few things on my list that have to be accomplished by 5 PM tomorrow, Saturday:
  • pack away all unused decorations
  • bring the tree inside and decorate it
  • finish dusting furniture
  • clean bathrooms
  • complete preparation of games to play during the party
  • wrap prizes for games
  • make stuffing for 21-pound turkey
  • finish putting up lights in house and on shrubs (finally got replacements for the ones that burned out)
  • water house plants
  • put up extra table to hold desserts; cover with tablecloth and decorate
  • put away all mail/papers from computer desk
  • make iced tea
  • stuff turkey and get in oven by 11 am Saturday
  • create centerpiece for kitchen table
  • pull out dishes for serving food
  • create hors d'oeuvre platter
  • vacuum house
  • wash wood floors
  • change bedding on our bed/launder sheets
  • set out plates/utensils/glasses
Okay, I'm sure I've forgotten some things that will come to mind as I work, but you get the gist.  It's a busy time.  And right after church on Sunday, Bob has to sing someplace with his choral group and I'll be heading over to Carrboro to listen to my daughter's 2 children in a guitar concert at a local coffee shop.  Then next weekend one of our son-in-laws has a graduation ceremony on Saturday morning and all but one of the 7 grandchildren are coming over to decorate Christmas cookies on Sunday afternoon.  That means that I'll be baking cookies Friday evening and Saturday afternoon and evening, enough for each of the 6 grandkids to take home 3 dozen cookies each!  The next weekend, which is right before Christmas, Bob and I will be taking as much of the family as can go on Sunday to the NC Museum of Life and Science for their special Christmas displays, especially the model train setup, which the small boys will surely enjoy.  Right after that, we'll have dinner together. 
All this preparation makes me realize that we need to keep room for quiet time.  And it makes me wonder how much time we spend in preparation for Christ in our hearts.  I'm speaking to myself here, people, not just to you.  In the midst of all this activity, we can lose sight of the meaning of Christmas.  Let's simply try not to.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Looking Forward

When a person is discouraged, it's a good time to encourage others.  That's where I find myself lately - discouraged.  A year ago I was in the process of completing "Amanda's Hope" and going through the process of self-publishing the book, which turned out to be a rather grueling experience.  I was all fired up with hope and expectations that a year later, my life would be much different.  Well, it's a year later, and it's pretty much the same -- other than the fact that my husband suffered a heart attack in March which has left us paying hundreds of dollars on a hospital bill every month.  So yes, some things have changed, but the overall picture of where I thought I would be hasn't.  Thus my discouragement.
We had a speaker at our church Sunday in both the morning and evening services.  David Martin teaches encouragement and walking in what God has planned for us, and I can tell you I needed to hear what he had to say.  My level of discouragement can't get much lower.  I truly believed my book would be a success, I'd be able to travel locally and then around the country talking about my book and its central theme of abortion versus right to life.  I truly thought I'd no longer be sitting at my office desk working in a job in which I find little pleasure.  I believed I'd be having lunch with my daughters and helping out with the grandkids, not just seeing them for a few hours every other weekend or so.  The stress of working full-time, keeping my home and all that entails, and not having the time or the money to do what I'd rather be doing and to give like I'd rather be giving have weighed heavily on me, and I'm discouraged.  To encourage myself, I'm going to encourage you, my readers, and if I make a difference in one of your lives, I'm blessed.
Last night I heard:  that I must dream big, so I'm not going to give up my vision of speaking and writing for a living; that I must visualize my dreams; that I must plan how to fulfill my dreams; that I must focus on my dream; that all things are possible with God!  Now that's a good word, but it's meaningless unless I take it to heart and actually DO what I heard.  Hearing is good, but hearing yields nothing.  Doing is what brings results.  Another good part of what I heard was that God wants me to succeed so He can show other people what happens when a person follows His principles, so I can take care of myself (not be a burden to anyone or live in want), and so I can bless others who are in need!
Wisdom is to be chased down and acquired; it's the most precious thing for all of us (that's in the Bible, you know!)!  We alone decide how to spend our time, even the hours that we work, for we choose to go to work every day and in turn get paid for our time.  How many of us waste time watching television instead of helping others or building relationships with family?  We need to gain wisdom to help us reach our dreams and we need to read, read, read! 
So many words of wisdom were spoken for me and many others to hear, but it's now up to me and my husband to work toward our goals.  When one is discouraged, the other needs to encourage.  The Word of God contains all wisdom; all we need to do is read it and apply it to our lives.
So I encourage all who are discouraged!  As David Martin says, "The rest of your life will be the best of your life!" if we apply what God has made available to us.  I'm going to do it.  How about you?