Understanding Death

Bob and I were at my son's house last evening to watch their 3 little boys so they could go to a party, thrown by my son's co-workers, for him as he was starting his own business.  The youngest boy, Ian, was sleeping already, but we got to spend some time with Benny and Niland before they finally fell asleep at 9 p.m. with the huge stuffed dog I'd made right on top of them.  Their twin beds are side-by-side in their large bedroom, and when they finally got in it, I asked Niland to move over to his bed rather than beside Benny.  Niland said, "Nana, when I find someone I love, I like to sleep beside them."  And that's how they fell asleep, side-by-side.
My daughter-in-law, Bee, came home after 11; Nate was still at the party as he was the guest of honor.  We were glad to see her as we aren't used to staying up that late, and we had a 25-minute drive to go to get home.  Before we left, Bee asked, "Did I tell you that Niland was asking for Grandma Stewart?"
That's Bob's mother, who passed away December 26.
"No, you didn't."
"Well, he said he wanted to see her, and when I told him that he couldn't because she was in heaven, he started crying."
Niland didn't get to see Mom very often; she was in assisted living, but every time we had a family gathering, we'd make sure she attended.  And Christmas was no exception.  Bob got Mom and we went to my daughter's house, and of course, Nate and Bee and the boys were there.  I can still picture in my mind Bob's mother kissing Ian goodbye as she placed her hands on the sides of his face.  Benny and Niland gave her hugs and kisses goodbye, too, not knowing that she would be dead in less than 24 hours.  With the funeral held in Alabama because that's where Mom spent her years other than the last few, Nate and Bee did not attend, and nothing was said about Mom to the boys.
When Niland found out, Bee said, he demanded to see her right now.  Bee explained that she'd gone to heaven, that we'd never be able to see her again until we get to heaven, and that she was living with God.  Well, that only made Niland mad at God and disliking heaven.  Bee further explained that Grandma Stewart could see us, but we couldn't see her, but that wasn't to his liking either.  Niland wanted to talk to Grandma Stewart, and he wasn't pleased with not being able to.  Bee told him he could talk to her in his heart, and then he said, "I want to go to the highest mountain so I can see her in heaven!"  Niland was mad at God and wanted him to know it!  A few days later, Niland asked his mom if his Lola and Papa (Bee's parents) were old, meaning were they going to die.  It's been a journey for Nate and Bee, exploring and explaining death to a boy who's heart broke for someone he loved even though he didn't know her very well.
Hearing these thoughts that had come from my grandson's heart touched us so deeply, and even now, brings me to tears.  Death is never easy to understand for the young and often for the old.  Mom said more than once that she thought God had forgotten about her.  She was 90 years old when she passed into glory.  We'd had to prepare ourselves for the moment she would leave us, but one is never fully prepared.  Even as we left her on Christmas day back in her apartment and started to drive home, I said to Bob, "Thank God we had Christmas with her.  We don't know if we'll have another."  This wasn't prophetic but simply reality.  Twelve hours later, she had the stroke that took her life.
As we go through our days, little things bring Mom to mind - seeing her pictures on our computer, finding a note she'd written, realizing we can't go see her, seeing a note Bob had written on a scrap of paper reminding him to purchase something Mom needed - and we're reminded of our own brevity of life and how precious is each day.  Living causes pain in ultimate death, yet it is the cycle established by God, who knows our pain.  We celebrate each new life added to our families and mourn the passing of others.  Yet this life is not the end - it is the place where our future, eternal life is determined.  We can't eliminate the pain our own deaths will bring our loved ones and friends, but we can soften our passing by giving our loved ones hope in our faith in Jesus Christ. 

Tragedy Touches Home

The grief that has shocked the nation, even the entire world, seemingly taking our hearts out and crushing them before our eyes, has come close to my home.  An event such as this does not just affect the parents and local community; no, it reaches out with its tentacles and lays hold of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and dear friends across the country with a tenacity that can only be described as verocious.  Like an unstoppable cancer, it spreads across the country, destroying relationships and changing lives forever.
My daughter and her husband have been close friends with a couple in their church for years, and it is this couple that has lost a niece in the tragedy.  The husband of this couple is the brother of the mother of one of the slain girls.  This couple have children of their own, and their daughter has been very good friends with my granddaughter for years, so I have a 10-year-old granddaughter who is learning a hard lesson about the horrible realities of life as her own parents deal with the suffering of their friends.  At the same time, my granddaughter is showing her strength and compassion to her friend Jordan at the loss of Jordan's 6-year-old cousin.  Countless other people across this nation are also suffering the results of one person's incomprehensible fatal choice.
My office is located close to a shooting range, and on nice days, which we've enjoyed this week, I sit in my car and enjoy the sunshine during my lunch break.  I don't usually pay attention to the sound of guns in the distance, but I do now.  I understand the description of the shots as popping sounds, for that's what they are.  Even though I know the place down the street is for sport, I can't help but think that they are using for personal enjoyment and pleasure instruments that were chosen to annihilate defenseless children.  Just as fire can be beneficial or destructive beyond belief, so too can guns be for fun or for death.  It all depends on who holds the gun in his or her hand and the choices they make.
I've been following the news closely, as has almost everyone, and don't understand the frenzy to purchase the style of gun that was turned on our most precious possession, our children, by the shooter.  I don't understand the "need" for a law-abiding citizen to own a gun.  Surely the statistics would support my belief that few of us, even in high-crime areas, are ever threatened in our own homes.  And I believe the statistics would support the fact that more children are accidentally killed by other children in their homes, their place of assumed safety, than are perpetrators of evil who break into homes.  The more guns we have, the more frequently this will continue to occur. 
I read an article the other night on-line somewhere (as you, I've read and heard so much that I can't keep some bits of information straight) that Newtown/Sandy Hook were taking down their Christmas decorations, and my heart cried out, "NO!  Don't take down the decorations!  You still have other children who need Christmas!"  This is the time of year when we celebrate the birth of Christ, the Saviour of the world, and if we put aside this time of celebration, even when we suffer incomprehensible loss, evil wins.  Our remaining children still need Christmas, and this Christmas in particular, even though it will be different.
Good needs to overcome evil, especially now.  "The thief comes not but to steal, to kill and to destroy; I am come that you may have life, and that you might have it more abundantly."  (John 10:10)  Yes, this act was one of evil perpetrated by the enemy of our souls, whose sole purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.  Through God alone will we find life, and not just existence, but abundant life. 
Jesus said, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)  It's a sure thing that we will have tribulation in this world, and losing a child in such an unimaginable event is undoubtedly one of the most heart-rendering events a human can endure, yet through Christ we can overcome because HE has overcome, including death. 
So how do we make sense of these two verses of scripture?  How do we analyze and understand that Jesus came to give us life as we face the loss of so many innocent children?  We can't.  It's impossible.  The only way to endure and ultimately overcome this unbelieveably sad event is to have faith that God's word is true.  Joy will come some morning.  Beauty will rise from the ashes.  Life will be good and full again even as it remains different than what it was or would have been had this tragic event not been visited upon us.
The innocent children still live but in a different place - the place we call heaven.  They are no longer here, and it is the sudden and brutal way in which they were taken from our midst that crushes our senses and hearts.  As human beings, we know only this world and don't fathom heaven, which is God's home and is promised to us who believe on, adhere to, rely on, and cling to Him while we live on this earth.  Heaven is real; it's forever.  The slain children are there, enjoying the presence of their Creator.  All of their questions have been answered, but many of ours will not ever be answered because we live on this side of eternity.  Families will be reunited with these lost loved ones some day, and only then will all questions be answered, only then will things be revealed. 
As everyone who has been affected, from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, best friends, casual friends, acquaintances, the survivors, the first responders, police officers -- the list goes on and on --and even those who live in the Newtown/Sandy Hook areas or have in the past and feel rooted to that special place -- as all work through the grieving process, let us find hope in Jesus, who is acquainted wtih our sorrows and who offers peace, healing, and hope for eternal life.
In time, life will move on, only differently than what had been expected. 
God is good, never evil.  Read the end of The Book - He wins.