A Day off and Progress!

Today (Monday) I took the day off from work to oversee some landscaping that was happening at our house. I was home just in case there were questions, and there were, so I could call my husband and get the right answers. I used my time to write, and write I did -- eight and a half pages! Now that might not seem like much to you, but I have line spacing on my laptop set at 1.15, so it's just a hair above single-spaced text, and writing over eight pages is a lot of writing. But I was 'in the flow' and the writer's block was gone; I was rested and relaxed with nothing pressing to get done, and I had no interruptions other than the breaks I took, so the writing came easily. I've moved beyond the twist in Amanda's story that I hadn't planned and am winding up -- or down -- to the climax of her story, but that I can't tell you!
During the day, I sat outside on the covered porch swing on the deck with one of my cats, Delilah, spread out beside me, purring away. The sun was warm, the breeze pleasant, the shade welcome, and the men were at the back of the property digging and laying stone for a low wall to set off our perennial flower garden and to guide water down the back slope when we have downpours. Occasionally I'd look up and see how things were progressing; I'd listen to the birds singing and even saw a red-bellied woodpecker fly across the yard and attach itself to a tree. The sweet scent of the honeysuckle in bloom on a trellis next to our deck filled my nostrils. What else could I ask for? It was a glorious day.
I focused on my writing, although I occasionally got up and pulled weeds, walked through my vegetable garden, spoke often to my Heavenly Father, watered the remaining tomato plants (whose number is dwindling daily), and took photos of the work in progress on our digital camera. I also started laundry and mixed a marinade for the chicken to be cooked for dinner, so I got a lot of little things done while getting a whole lot done on Amanda's story.
When I sat down to dinner with my husband, I told him that this was the most relaxing and rewarding day in terms of my writing that I think I've ever experienced. I'm so thankful for it! Sometimes I feel as if I'm put in a blender and someone turns it on HIGH, swirling me around and liquifying me before pouring me out on the ground, where I simply disappear. I'm the kind of person who likes to see results, who likes to make progress, and who feels most fulfilled when life is not hectic. Today cost me one day of my vacation time, but it was well spent.
I recommend to all of my readers to take time to enjoy what's outside your back door, to sit on your deck and watch the birds and butterflies, to hear the birds sing, and to smell the flowers in bloom. It's springtime in North Carolina, and taking a day and doing nothing with it other than what makes you feel fulfilled is worth it. God never intended us to whirl around, heads spinning and stressed out constantly; He is a God of peace and rest and calls us away to spend time with Him in what He's created, not in concrete buildings made by man. Take the time that's needed to connect with God and to His world, and you'll be rested and relaxed at the end of the day, ready to face the challenges of tomorrow. I'm ready now.

A Twist in Direction

The other night, as I was writing away, I came to a point in the story, and God shot an idea in my mind as quick and as sure as an arrow hitting the bullseye of a target. I stopped typing and literally said out loud, "No, God, not that!" But He persisted, and that chapter ended entirely different than I had envisioned. In fact, the entire story from this point forward will be different than I had planned. I was a bit upset at the idea that God dropped in me -- I do believe that when I'm writing, He gives me what He wants me to write -- so I tried to ignore His persistent nudging, but to no avail. This idea hadn't entered my mind and it presents an element of tragedy into the story, which for me already has enough tragedy! Not more, God! Please not that! But God's ideas are always better than mine, so I completed the chapter as I felt He wanted me to write it. I re-read it last night and cried while reading it. I'm so sorry to have to put Amanda and her family through such a siutation, but life is life, and we can't orchestrate it the way we want to. We can plan and hope and work toward what we want, but doesn't life have a way of interrupting our plans and changing the course of events that we'd mapped out so carefully? So now the story has a different flavor, a different melody, a different texture, and I'm trying to embrace it as I move forward. When we embrace unexpected changes in our life, we can move forward; if we don't, we stay stagnant. Most of the time, change is not bad, but life goes on -- just differently. Where I work, things have changed, and it's taken some getting used to, but life has gone on, just differently. People come and go in our lives, and we often must release them to pursue their own dreams, and when we do, life continues, just differently. All of us need to embrace sudden changes in our lives, for God is the ultimate author of our story

Not Where I Want To Be!

The weekend is past, the time is gone, and even though I had time to write, the infamous scourge of 'writer's block' has set in. I'm having difficulty moving forward with the story at this point, so needless to say, I'm frustrated and troubled. After hoping to complete the story by the coming weekend, it now looks as if that's an impossibility. I think the writer's block was brought on by a near heart-attack experience for me Saturday morning. After waking up early and not being able to fall back to sleep, which has been quite often the case of late, I slid out of bed and booted up my laptop, on which I've been writing "Amanda's Hope." Oddly enough, an error message popped up twice while it was booting up, and when the screen opened, there was only one icon on my desktop where before there had been six. As a knot formed in my chest, I clicked on 'My Documents' and the folder said "EMPTY"! No documents? My story gone? Immediately I started thinking that I'd printed out about 125 pages of text, so I could retype that, but what in the world had happened to my laptop? Where had my story gone? Surely this was some fluke or an attack by the enemy to destroy the story and discourage me! So I prayed and asked for healing of my laptop or, in the alternative, retrieval of what I'd lost. After shutting down and rebooting, all of the icons appeared on my desktop and everything was as it should be! Praise God! Talk about near heart-failure! I now have the text saved on a flash drive! There's no way I want to experience that again. But I'm not where I want to be in the story. I'm looking forward to writing tonight, right after I post this, and I'm praying that the slump in which I find myself will be over and that the words will fly from my fingertips.
All of us experience times in life when things aren't what we want them to be, and Amanda is a prime example. Here she is, facing a situation that defines her life from this point forward, and she keeps thinking that this isn't what she had planned or even expected, but it is what it is. Through the grace of God, she's able to accept things as they are, trust Him to make the best of a bad situation, redeem her bad choices, and bring glory to His name. And so I strive to complete this story, to move on to where I want to be -- finished! But the process is slow and sometimes agonizing, connecting characters and situations and making dialogue flow easily. My prayer is that all of my readers who find themselves in a place where they don't want to be will persevere through prayer and supplication, while leaning on God's mercies, to go where He wants you to be because that's the only place that has value and meaning. Leaning on His grace and His timing will get me to where I want to be -- eventually! His time-table is not necessarily mine!

Moving Forward

Sometimes life morphs into something we hadn't envisioned, like this whole thing with my heirloom tomato plants. The project took on a life of its own but, I'm glad to say, things are winding down. I'll be glad when it's over, but I'll do it again next year, only smarter!
Fortunately, I was able to spend some of my time writing, both on Monday evening and again on Tuesday evening, adding about 14 pages to Amanda's story. I think I can finish the rest of the story in about 50 more pages, so if I can keep writing 7 pages a day, I'll have it finished by . . . well, let's project a completion date of April 25th. And that will be only if I can continue to write every day. As before, my weekends are booked solid -- things with family, hosting others for dinner, church and the like, and doing all those things on weekends that I don't get a chance to do during the week because of my job. But Amanda's story is moving forward. I'm at a critical stage in the story where she must make a very important decision, one that will probably literally be the most important one of her life and truly is the most difficult. Her family -- parents and grandmother -- prefer that she decide one way, but she's torn between two ways. She's also finding out that people can be very judgmental without knowing all of the facts and circumstances, and people whom she expects to understand often don't, and those she thinks will not understand -- do. But she's moving toward that major decision, trusting God to give her wisdom and the love that she needs to make it.
Oftentimes, we make major decisions too quickly and don't consider the long-term effects of that decision on our spouse, children, job, friends, or relationship to God. Amanda has been looking at both options and sees the positive and negative points of both sides, but she's reached a point where she knows that God is in control, that he's leading her, and that he will give her peace about her decision. All of us should be that way, inquiring of God what he wants us to do, weighing the options, and considering the effects on those around us, as well as on ourselves. So take time as you move forward in life and face decisions that, once made, are irreversible. Seek wisdom and guidance from the Almighty, and he'll show you the way.

Tough, Touchy Subject

I knew I'd have to deal with this subject sooner or later as it is such a vital part of Amanda's story, but I'd really rather not go there. The subject of date rape is one that conjures up an act of violence against females, and that it is without a doubt, but let's take a closer look at it. Basically it means that girls who are dating or who have dated a guy end up being forced to have sex with them, against their wishes. Thus the term date rape. But just like almost everything in life, there are two sides and two points of view. Many of today's young men are ruled by testosterone; they seriously lack any self control or restraint and literally seek sexual activity. There's no such thing as "waiting until marriage" to them. So when a guy goes out with a girl, if he is expecting a 'sexual favor' at the end of the evening and the girl doesn't want it, oftentimes the guy will force himself on the girl. Date rape. He might say that his date gave every indication during the evening that she wanted it, that she led him on, that she flirted with him, and such may be the case, but does that make it okay for him to take something against someone's wishes? Absolutely not! Now from the girl's side, if she dresses provocatively, if she seductively flirts or leads him on, she may unknowingly create an atmosphere ripe for date rape. The signals being sent are clear to him, and when the delivery isn't made willingly, it can be taken by force. Should the girl lead him on and seduce him, only to leave him wanting? No. I believe it boils down to responsibility in behavior for both people. Guys shouldn't look at any girl as a sex object; most girls or women do not want to be that. Girls shouldn't be inappropriate in dress, speech or actions. It could lead to violence, pain, suffering, and humiliation.
In line with God's Word, our actions should be only those that glorify Him. Making wise choices in relationships is one of the most important things we can do to honor our Lord. Treating others as precious in God's eyes, which they are, is also honoring to God. The boundaries God has established for His people are for our protection, and as you'll see, Amanda steps out of those boundaries and ends up in a world of trouble, realizing too late that boundaries are a good thing.

Too Little Time

Like most other people, I've come to the conclusion that there's too much to do and too little time in which to do it! Take this last week, for instance. My writing fell by the wayside due to my tomato factory! Yes, my tomato factory! I've grown 19varieties of heirloom tomato plants, ending up with 756 plants! How crazy is that! And now that the time to sell has arrived, I've been overwhelmed with organizing, boxing, labeling, and sorting all of these tomatoes. It's literally been a back-breaking experience, but the results have been good. Even though my writing fell by the wayside, I did manage to work with one of the directors of a local pregnancy center, who gave me a great deal of invaluable information on current procedures and policies. This was what I needed as my rough draft was rather biased in one particular area, and I did not know that it was biased. This just goes to show you that another pair of eyes can expose weak areas, not only in writing or story development, but in our personal lives. Having a good friend, someone who will hold you accountable when you step where you shouldn't or go down the wrong path, could literally save your life. The assitance I received took Amanda's story in a direction that I had not previously considered, and I believe this will make her story more real, interesting, and even heart-breaking.
I wrote about five pages today; I took the day off from work and continued doing the tomato thing -- I'll be glad when it's over -- but after the rush of the day, I found the time -- no, took the time -- to sit down and make some major edits in line with the suggestions that were given me. Taking this to the spiritual level, all of us need to make changes in our lives when the author of our story -- God -- tells us to make those changes. Even though we might not understand why, we'll understand when the chapter is finished.
I'll try not to let so much time go by again between my posts.