Spring flowers and hope

     Spring flowers -- how we all love them.  But they have to be planted in the fall in order to bloom in the spring.  You can't plant tulips in April and expect them to bloom.  They won't.

     Many years ago I planted 105 tulips and hyacinth bulbs around the roses in one of my gardens while I lived in Connecticut.  It was hard work; I spent a lot of time on my knees, digging and planting those hard bulbs.  My back and arms ached when I was done, but I looked forward to the coming spring when I would enjoy the fruits of my labor.  But first I had to patiently go through the harsh winter months.  Did I worry about my newly-planted bulbs freezing?  Did I worry that they wouldn't grow when they should?  No!  I knew the bulbs had to go through the cold months before they would bloom in the warmth of spring.  Even though I couldn't see anything happening, I knew those bulbs were setting down roots, roots which were necessary to produce a flower.  And so I waited as the ground froze and the snow fell.  I waited as the snow melted and the rains came.  I waited for there to be more sunny days than cold, cloudy ones.  Then I waited as the sun poured out its warming energy, pushing back the frost and ice in the ground with each passing day.  

     I eagerly checked the flower bed each day, but there was nothing.  Yet I didn't throw up my hands in aggravation and walk away, never to check the bed again.  No, I kept checking because I had faith that those bulbs I had so diligently planted months before would be up sooner or later.  And one day, there was one bulb, then another, and another, and more every day.  Soon every bulb I'd planted was up through the chilly ground, reaching for the warmth of the sun.  It didn't take long for buds to appear, then the beauty of those flowers unfolded, lasting for days, their fragrance filling the air, enticing my senses.  I finally was able to enjoy all my hard work, but it took months of waiting and watching.

     Our society seems to have become a "microwave" society, wanting things instantly.  With on-line ordering, computers allow us to shop from the comfort of our homes and receive the items ordered within a few short days.  Patience seems to have been lost through the years.  We've forgotten the joy of expectation.

      Believers can also be impatient.  We get down on our knees and put our petitions before God, then get up and expect the answer to come overnight in an e-mail or text message.  Or we expect to see immediate results from our work, whatever that work may be.  Time is of the essence with us.  Time is of no importance to God.  And so He teaches us to plant, to keep a dream or a desire or request deep in our hearts.  He doesn't forget it's there.  He knows.  And so we go through time, often months that seem cruel and harsh and difficult, thinking nothing is happening as we want it to happen.  But God is working in us or around us, setting down deep roots of faith so we can produce a good harvest.  And we wait and wait and wait, hoping for a sigh of answered prayer or results from all our hard work.  More months, or even years, may pass, and we eagerly anticipate God's hand bringing about results.  When nothing seems to be happening, discouragement can easily set in.  But one day, one glorious day, you will see a tiny bit of growth, something that wasn't there yesterday, and it will grow larger each day.  Often storms may still come, cutting off the warm sun and slowing that growth, but all storms pass and the sun always reappears.  Finally, just when you think all the growth is not producing anything, a bud appears, and that bud bursts forth into a glorious flower which brings honor and glory to God alone.

      Whatever your desire, whatever your hope, whatever your dream, whatever your work, don't give up.  Keep on believing.  Keep having faith.  You may be just one day away from seeing the results of all your hard, diligent work, of all your prayers, of all your dreams.  God is faithful.  Just as the tulips and daffodils will always bloom in the spring, so will God always bring results and answers into our lives.

     It's with this hope in mind that I keep believing for my book, "Amanda's Hope, A Choice for Life", to get onto bookstore shelves and into the public's hands, all to the glory of God.  I see growth but no buds yet, but I'm holding on.    

New Blog Title!

So, I finally found a new name for my blog, something more fitting for the stage of life into which I've grown with age.  Yes, I'm getting older all the time, and I've come to the conclusion age sneaks up on you and you don't even realize it!  As I sometimes say, I got old when I wasn't watching!  I'm also not ashamed to tell my age (69) because many people don't get to live as long as I've lived, so "I'm not ashamed to say and I'm glad for every day" is what I tell people now.  Every breath I take is by the grace of God, so will I be ashamed to speak of His grace?  Never!

For those of you under 50 years of age, grasp every moment you can with your kids, grown or not.  Before you know it, they'll have families of their own, and when those families expand and include children, your grandchildren, life takes another turn for your kids and for yourself.  Our eight grandchildren now range in age from five years up to 20 years, and we've been in the grandparenting phase for over 20 years now; even thought it's an amazing time of life, it comes with its challenges, but the rewards are innumerable.

Because I was raised in a children's home from the age of 8-18, I've not had a role model in my life for any phase of my life.  I learned about marriage when I married; I learned about being a mother when I became a mother; and now I'm navigating grandparenting on my own.  Sadly, I've failed at many things in life, failed those who counted on me, failed to be what God had planned for me to be.  But all I have is the here and now; I can't undo any of my past mistakes or failures; I can only learn from them and pray for forgiveness.  I want to be the best nana (that's what my grandkids call me) I can be; thus the new name for my blog.

I hope you continue reading and hope some of you will even comment on my posts.  I've felt like I've been writing in a desert, sending my posts into cyberspace, and it would be good to know someone, or lots of someones, are reading and hopefully benefitting from what I write.

Thought for today:  God knows us intimately; His Word states, in Matthew 10:30:  And even the hairs of your head are all numbered.

Retreat

Over the past weekend I was in North Myrtle Beach, SC, with about 110 lovely ladies from my church.  We had a guest speaker and spent time in the Word and time in prayer and in listening to God.  Hated for it to end, but the time there brought me new friendships with younger ladies and a refreshed spirit.
A small thought for the day:  Every moment is important, so cherish each one, for time can slip away through our fingers like sand in an hourglass.

Drawing again!

Because I'd been away from blogging for so long, things had changed and I didn't know how to upload photos from my computer as that wasn't a choice in the menu any longer.  I've found out how to do that now, so below are a few of the colored pencil drawings I've done in the last two years.  Remember horses are my favorite animal!








The colored pencils I use are Prismacolor pencils, artist-grade waxy pencils which allow for blending of the colors and lots of detail.  The last drawing of Lindt Chocolate bar was for fun; it's my favorite candy!  The real package is on the left and the drawing is on the right.  I made the drawing look as if the paper had been torn off the bottom; I didn't want to draw all the small lettering on the bottom of the wrapper!

I'm heading to North Myrtle Beach, SC, tomorrow with a bunch of ladies from my church for a women's retreat, so my husband will be left to fend for himself!  I hope he survives!

Active again!

I'm back!!  It's been almost six years since I've posted on this blog, and hopefully I'll continue to post on a regular basis. What's happened in the last six years?  We've had another grandson, bringing the total to eight grandchildren with seven of them being boys!  We are blessed indeed!
I was laid off from my job in March of 2014, but it was a good thing for me as I was discontent at my job and had nothing to do most of the time.  Because I was so close to my 65th birthday, I didn't bother to look for another job and haven't regretted the decision.  I've been spending my time doing things I love to do and hadn't had the chance to do for years.  First I started making soap, something I'd never done but had always wanted to try.  I marketed the products at the Durham Craft Market every Saturday, setting everything up under a 10x10 canopy and selling for 4 hours.  It was fun and brought in extra money for four years, but I dropped that when I returned to my drawing.  I hadn't drawn anything for about 18 years but was able to get right back into it.  I discovered colored pencils as my new medium and have been enjoying drawing horses, my favorite animal in the world.  Well, I have cats and love them dearly and have never had a horse and probably never will have one, but I think they're magnificent.  I'm now stretching my wings and trying to master water color, which I find very difficult.
I've also continued gardening, both flowers and vegetables, and thoroughly enjoy the growing season in North Carolina.  My husband also retired almost three years ago, and we purchased a used travel trailer, so we've given up tent camping and have embraced trailering.  Many years ago I said I'd never do that, but time, aging and surgeries have changed my outlook; we don't mind having air-conditioning and heat, as well as a bathroom, in our small trailer.  We don't travel far with it because our car is only a V6, but we have several state parks close to us and enjoy getting away from our normal routine and out into the open spaces.  We've also purchased a kayak and enjoy paddling around the lakes at the campgrounds.  
I've continued writing books and have republished "Amanda's Hope", so it has a new cover and design but is still the same book.  You can purchase the book on Amazon by searching BOOKS and my name.  You can also go to my website, www.barbaranstewart.com/ to purchase the book or order it through Barnes and Noble.  In the meantime I've reworked another story I've written, "Stay of Execution," and hope to get that published sometime this year.  
God has been good through the years, even through a difficult foot surgery and recovery.  One summer I was blessed to take care of my son's three boys for the summer; when they started back to school, I felt like I'd been laid off again!  We loved having them every weekday and missed them so much when summer ended.
We've become involved with Open Table Ministry here in Durham and help every Monday to serve a meal to the homeless people who come to the church where it's served.  We don't cook but churches and civic groups sign up to bring food for at least 140 people, and when they arrive we help them set up and serve the food then clean up afterward.  We've seen babies and small children come in with their mothers and sometimes with their fathers, too, and that always breaks my heart.  I've come to know some of the people and their struggles.  Open Table helps them get jobs, provides transportation at times, helps them get housing, provides free clothing, and many other things as well.  My daughter is on the Board of Directors.
Other things which keep me busy are knitting and crocheting.  I've made numerous stocking caps and donated them during the winter months; I make baby blankets when someone I know is having a little one; I spend time each week with an invalid friend and help her as needed; I babysit at my church when MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is in session, so you can see I'm a busy person.  But I love what I do.
As I entered this "retirement" stage of life, I knew I wouldn't be sitting around my house eating, drinking and being merry, or traveling and having a good time.  I knew I would be serving and helping others as that's what God's called me to do.  There are so many needy people in the world, so many who need help in myriad ways that to sit and do nothing is, to me, wrong.  As long as God gives each of us breath, we should be working and helping those in need.  That doesn't mean you can't have a vacation or go somewhere you'd love to visit; it just means that we shouldn't live for ourselves, but for others and for the God who created us.  
I hope you'll check back occasionally as I continue blogging.  I'll post short stories and/or events in our lives.  As always, God is the source of life and all goodness.  

Anybody Out There?

No comments yet on my questions about happiness!  Is anybody out there in cyberspace?  Is anyone actually reading this blog?  It would be absolutely amazing to communicate with people in the countries which are listed on my overview -- Russia, India, China, Poland, Brazil, Thailand, Malaysia, Germany, Australia, the United States, and many other countries.  I'd love to converse with you, but I can't do it if this blog is a one-way street. 
Please - contribute to my happiness by posting a comment or response to one of my posts!  Believe it or not, it just might make my day! 

Change of Direction

When I started this blog several years ago, I primarily sought to blog about my writing.  As time passed, I found myself writing about a variety of issues and subjects which have elicited few responses or comments from my readers, which are - literally - all over the world.  I'm amazed when I check the statistics for this blog and often wonder how anyone finds it in all the millions of connections on the internet!  But I'd like to change the fact that I've had very little feedback and interaction with my readers, so I'm going to start asking questions, and I hope you find my questions interesting or compelling enough that you will respond. 
I've been reading about happiness lately, a much lighter read than Deitrich Bonhoeffer, so I'm going to throw out these questions:  What makes you happy?  What gives you the most satisfaction in life?  Is it relationships, material possessions, your job, where you live, your faith, or something else? 
If you're not happy, why not? 
I'd love to hear from you!  I'm very interested to hear if happiness is based on the same criteria from country to country.  I'll post your comment/response on my blog unless you don't want it there; simply say so, and it won't be posted.
I'm still not recovered from my sinus infection, even though I've been taking the antibiotic for 6 days now.  My head hurts by mid-day, I have absolutely no energy, and I constantly want to sleep, which is impossible since I'm at work during the day!  I can't remember the last time I was this sick and truly pray that I'll turn the corner soon.
Easter Sunday was powerful and moving at church as we celebrated Christ's resurrection!  I'm not sure if Christmas or Easter is my favorite holiday because they are inseparable.  After church we went to my daughter's house and had a wonderful dinner and watched the grandsons hunt for plastic eggs filled with candy in the yard.  Love surrounds people on Easter, both from heaven (God to us through Christ) and on earth (through our families).  God is simly love.