Issues

I'm discovering that the 'aging process' is at my doorstep, and I don't know if I'm prepared to face it, both emotionally and physically.  For approximately 4 months, I've been experiencing heart palpitations, which are extremely unsettling.  Normally one doesn't feel one's heart as it beats, but with the palpitations, you feel it thump, and it's definitely not a good feeling.  So after a complete physical the other day, a Holter monitor was my companion for 24 hours.  The results are sending me to a cardiologist sometime in the near future.  My doctor thinks that these palpitations are not serious, but they bode further examination; if left undiagnosed and unattended, they could lead to something about which to be concerned.
The uncertainty of the findings which have yet to be discovered leave me a bit stressed.  I've been very healthy all of my life other than suffering from a herniated disk three years ago and having to deal with RLS (restless leg syndrome), for which I must take medication in order to sleep.  I've been going over and over in my mind that other people suffer from horrible diseases and disabilities, and I'm dealing with RLS, which is not life-threatening, so what in the world am I complaining about?!  The concept of being disabled/restricted/
medicated is foreign to me, and that's the issue with which I am dealing.
Today was a very nice day, the first pleasant day we've had after weeks of enduring very cold weather for this part of the country, and I went outside during my lunch break, moved my car into the full sun facing south, and enjoyed the warm sun.  When I pulled into the new parking place, a flock of birds burst from the holly bushes directly in front of me, and as I watched, they slowly returned.  Upon further observation, I discovered that they were Robins, the first I've seen this season, and they were gorging themselves on the red berries in the bushes.  I watched in amazement as they scarfed down berry after berry.  They were quite comical to watch, too.  Some would sit under the bushes and jump up, fluttering their wings as they did so, trying to snatch the berries.  Others rested on the slender branches as they tried to pluck berries from the clusters that surrounded them.  I opened my car windows so I could hear them chirping.  It was then that I realized something -- they were feasting on what their Creator had provided for them -- and I wasn't.  I'm in unchartered, unfamiliar territory -- just like the Robins -- but God has provided for them, and He'll provide for me!  His Word is a feast for me, and I need to spend more time in it, pulling out and digesting the food that's there for me.  His words bring life, hope, and healing, and I so need to lean more on my Savior at this uncertain time.  I'm wondering what lessons I'll learn; I'm wondering what lessons my husband will learn -- but I know that God is in control and that He's provided everything I'll need to get through this uncertain time and deal with the results.  Easy?  No! -- because I'm human!  I like things planned out, specified, laid out neatly and precisely, but that's not God's way.  In my weakness and uncertainty He is made strong -- and I pray that I won't fail Him.