All Four of Them!

Earlier this week, my husband and I had offered to take care of all four of our young grandsons -- Niland (3 1/2 years), Cooper (soon to be 3), Wilson (2 1/2), and Benny (1 1/2) -- to give the parents, who've been sick much of this past week, a much-needed break.  All of them arrived shortly after 10 AM and left around 2:30 PM, and we survived!
The weather couldn't have been better, the temperature topping out close to 60 degrees, which was so wonderful after so many weeks of below normal temperatures.  After the boys arrived, we played inside with Matchbox cars for a while, and then we headed outdoors to enjoy the sunshine and warmth.  Bob was in the perennial garden, cutting down the pampas grass so we could spread the clippings on the muddy spots under the swingset where the Zoysia grass had not completely covered the ground.  While he was doing that, we ran across our 1000 square foot deck, going into the gazebo on one side and out the other, across the deck and around a picnic table, and then back again, over and over.  Niland, Cooper and Wilson kept up with me, but Benny had a blast trying to catch us even though he couldn't.  The noise of so many feet running across the wooden deck infiltrated the neighborhood, and Bob could hear it over the sound of the electric pruning shears.  He said it sounded like a bunch of elephants!
Once the clippings were spread on the ground, the swingset was the place to be.  Cooper took a knock on the head from Wilson's swing -- learning to avoid swings in motion is tough!  All three swings were used, as well as the slide, and I had to move between the swings to keep everyone moving.
Lunch was quick -- and messy -- but good, and soon we were back outside and heading for a walk through the neighborhood.  Benny was in the stroller and Niland was too tired to run, but Cooper and Wilson ran all the way!  They were very obedient when we called STOP and waited for us to catch up.  At a certain point on the walk, we crossed the road, went down an embankment, and followed the utility easement back to our house, entering our yard from the back by the woods. 
By the time the parents arrived to pick up the boys, we were utterly exhausted, to say the least, but it was such a great day.  None of them wanted to leave -- Niland wanted to stay and have a sleepover!  All of them fell asleep on the way home, and even though I wanted to nap, Bob and I had to put the house back in order and get ready for him to sing in a concert given by The General Assembly Chorus (it doesn't have anything to do with government!), a barbershop group to which he belongs.  Hurrying off to that after a quick bite for dinner, we got there in plenty of time for him to warm up with the others.  Two of his daughters, a son-in-law, and his mother joined me to enjoy the concert, but I fell asleep during the last three songs! 
Having all four boys (there will be a fifth in early May) was tiring, but well worth it.  Receiving hugs and knowing that they didn't want to leave was assurance that we're doing something right -- being grandparents that love to do things with their grandkids!

Issues

I'm discovering that the 'aging process' is at my doorstep, and I don't know if I'm prepared to face it, both emotionally and physically.  For approximately 4 months, I've been experiencing heart palpitations, which are extremely unsettling.  Normally one doesn't feel one's heart as it beats, but with the palpitations, you feel it thump, and it's definitely not a good feeling.  So after a complete physical the other day, a Holter monitor was my companion for 24 hours.  The results are sending me to a cardiologist sometime in the near future.  My doctor thinks that these palpitations are not serious, but they bode further examination; if left undiagnosed and unattended, they could lead to something about which to be concerned.
The uncertainty of the findings which have yet to be discovered leave me a bit stressed.  I've been very healthy all of my life other than suffering from a herniated disk three years ago and having to deal with RLS (restless leg syndrome), for which I must take medication in order to sleep.  I've been going over and over in my mind that other people suffer from horrible diseases and disabilities, and I'm dealing with RLS, which is not life-threatening, so what in the world am I complaining about?!  The concept of being disabled/restricted/
medicated is foreign to me, and that's the issue with which I am dealing.
Today was a very nice day, the first pleasant day we've had after weeks of enduring very cold weather for this part of the country, and I went outside during my lunch break, moved my car into the full sun facing south, and enjoyed the warm sun.  When I pulled into the new parking place, a flock of birds burst from the holly bushes directly in front of me, and as I watched, they slowly returned.  Upon further observation, I discovered that they were Robins, the first I've seen this season, and they were gorging themselves on the red berries in the bushes.  I watched in amazement as they scarfed down berry after berry.  They were quite comical to watch, too.  Some would sit under the bushes and jump up, fluttering their wings as they did so, trying to snatch the berries.  Others rested on the slender branches as they tried to pluck berries from the clusters that surrounded them.  I opened my car windows so I could hear them chirping.  It was then that I realized something -- they were feasting on what their Creator had provided for them -- and I wasn't.  I'm in unchartered, unfamiliar territory -- just like the Robins -- but God has provided for them, and He'll provide for me!  His Word is a feast for me, and I need to spend more time in it, pulling out and digesting the food that's there for me.  His words bring life, hope, and healing, and I so need to lean more on my Savior at this uncertain time.  I'm wondering what lessons I'll learn; I'm wondering what lessons my husband will learn -- but I know that God is in control and that He's provided everything I'll need to get through this uncertain time and deal with the results.  Easy?  No! -- because I'm human!  I like things planned out, specified, laid out neatly and precisely, but that's not God's way.  In my weakness and uncertainty He is made strong -- and I pray that I won't fail Him.

Life's a Puzzle

My daughter gave me a puzzle for Christmas, and I recently put it together over a 3-day period.  I can honestly say that it was one of the most difficult puzzles I've ever done, and I've done quite a few in my lifetime!  Usually, the puzzle is cut in straight rows with the pieces interlocking.  Most of the time, those puzzles have several cuts that are identical, and the tough part is finding the right piece of many that are cut exactly the same.  However, this puzzle is different.  There are no straight rows and no identical pieces.  Sometimes I thought I was looking for one piece when it turned out to be two pieces, and other times I thought I was looking for two pieces when it was only one that filled the space.  It was a real challenge, but the end product is beautiful.
As I was working on the puzzle, I realized this truth:  life is a puzzle, and only God sees the end result.  While I was doing the puzzle, I looked at the photograph on the box to assist me in finding the right pieces, but God's end photo is hidden from us.  We add pieces to our 'puzzle' with each event, be it blessing or tragedy, and sometimes we think the next piece of our puzzle will look a certain way only to have it end up looking entirely different than what we imagined.  Sometimes we can't find the piece for which we're looking only to realize that it was right in front of us all the time!  Other times, it takes months, if not years, to find an important piece, and we rejoice when we add it to our puzzle. 
I know my puzzle is much bigger than many of my readers' puzzles, but I believe I still have a lot of pieces to add before it's complete and I go home to be with God.  I'm looking forward to adding the piece of a new grandson in the spring, and then there'll be all the memories that are created this year.  There are pieces that won't be added for years, but God knows how big my puzzle will be, and He knows how big yours will be, too.
I can't see all the pieces God has ordained to be part of my puzzle, but I'll add each piece as I find them and enjoy the beauty that's added to the picture, knowing the Master Artist is at work.

Struggles

Even at my age, I'm still learning that life isn't easy.  I'm struggling to lose the weight that has crept up over the past 8 months or so; it isn't easy!  And getting along with everyone all of the time is practically impossible!  In a sincere effort to be honest -- because I think honesty and openness make us better people -- my husband and I are, in an effort to deepen our relationship, discovering that we do have some issues.  It has been so very easy -- and I'm sure that everyone who's married will find this to be true -- to slip into a routine that somehow, through the course of months and years, reaches a superficial level.  Gone are the times of intimacy, and I'm not just referring to physical intimacy, but emotional and spiritual intimacy.  Gone are the times of long, extended conversations about dreams and aspirations, about hopes and fears, about personal struggles to do better, and about goals for the future.  So Bob and I have been listening to a radio broadcast on the internet in the evenings, discussing our reactions and thoughts to it, and then facing the fact that we do need to work on our relationship, which, in my opinion, has become superficial.  The simple fact of discussing things that we've glossed over has resurrected them, and it won't be easy fleshing them out and working through them. 
Let me clarify here that Bob and I have a pretty good relationship, but as I said, it has become superficial; we're living like roommates, not spouses.  Surely some of my readers feel the same way!  But we're determined to regain that spark, that feeling of being special and cherished, we had when we first met.  To help us along the way, we're going to be attending a seminar at our church entitled "The Art of Marriage" on February 11 and 12, where we, along with many other couples who wish to deepen their relationship, will work together to do so.  If you live in the United States and are married, I encourage you to check out this seminar at http://www.familylifetoday.com/, where you can click on the link to The Art of Marriage.  This will take you to a page where you can see if there is a seminar being hosted in your area; if not, the option is there for you to host one in a place of your choosing.  This video series seminar is debuting on February 11 and 12 and will be happening in hundreds of places throughout the U.S., so I encourage you to check out the website. 
I find it interesting that the Bible tells men to "love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her," and tells women to "respect their husbands."  God knows what each sex needs -- women need to feel love and affection, and men need to feel respected!  Yet somehow, through the simple act of living, raising kids, working, and spreading ourselves thin with so many things, we drift from that ideal.
We will listen to another program tonight and determine to set right the misunderstanding we had when we got out of bed this morning; words are so powerful, aren't they?!  Some have the strength of a nuclear bomb, immense in their destruction, while others pour joy and approval into the ears of the hearer.  Our words should be filled with encouragement, hope, expectation, and approval, but so often we pour poison into the hearts of those we love the most.  Dear friends, that ought not to be, and I'm as guilty as the next person.  I need to keep focused on using my mouth and tongue, that most powerful of all muscles in the body, in a way that pleases God rather than my own ego and self-righteous attitude.  That's my prayer.

The Naked Truth

So, the new year has arrived, and I'm among a multitude of people, I'm certain, who've pledged to lose weight this year.  Yes, I'll admit it, I've put on more than a few pounds during the last six months or so, and I can't stop the weight gain.  Some of my friends, those who see me regularly, probably won't say that I've put on weight, but I have, and way too much!  Having always been on the slender side (at least most of my life), to be carrying around poundage that makes me uncomfortable is not only frustrating, it's embarrassing to me.  So this morning, I got naked, weighed myself and wrote the horrible number down.  It was definitely not pretty!  Then I measured my bust, waist (actually, I couldn't find my waist -- it no longer exists!), hips (couldn't believe it!), upper leg (which is about 1.5 inches smaller than my waist used to be!), and my upper arms.  All the measurements were written down.  I'll repeat this process every Saturday morning (I had a day off today and thus started this venture today -- trying to start it this past Saturday in the midst of a late Christmas celebration, the New Year in full swing, and my husband's birthday -- was impossible).
I wrote down everything I ate today and was careful to eat healthy foods.  I was at one of the malls in Raleigh, visiting with my daughter-in-law and two little grandsons, at lunchtime, and we went to the foodcourt where I purchased a healthy Subway sandwich.  I passed up mini-muffins later in the day, but it wasn't easy.  I'm going to shed this weight that has crept onto my body because I don't like it!  I'm not used to the weight, none of my clothes fit (thankfully, I was given a gift card and went shopping after Christmas and was able to purchase enough clothing to keep me attired until I can get into my 'old' clothes).  I would have much rather spent it on something else, but I did what I had to do.  It's uncomfortable squeezing into clothes that cut you in half when you sit down!  Walking with Niland through the neighborhood enforced my need to get back in shape; that little guy can run pretty fast! 
On a more serious note, I do want to lose the weight and get back in shape because I believe it's my responsibility to take good care of my body, the body that God has given me.  I know I won't live forever, but until the time I pass on to glory, I've decided to eat healthy and get enough exercise to stay in shape in order to better serve my Lord.  When one is weak, sickly, overweight to the point that one's lifestyle and ability to do things is affected, or lazy, how can we do the things that are physically demanding?  We can't!  So I am determined to stop eating stuff that isn't nutritious, get daily exercise and adequate sleep.  More importantly, I plan on spending more time in the Word.   The truth of the matter is that all of my 'busyness' has pulled me from time with God, time with my Best Friend, and I've suffered for it in many ways.  I want God to bless my life but haven't found time to be with Him on a daily basis.  Would I want to give a child of mine something s/he wanted if they never were in contact with me?  Certainly not!  Relationship is so important, and I confess here that I've slidden down the slippery slope of lack of discipline in setting aside time to be with God.
So my resolution is two-fold:  To lose weight, and to gain time with God.  I'll keep you posted on my progress.