Aging and Wrinkles

I don't watch much television; mostly I watch the news, but I do like "Dancing with the Stars" (I like the idea of being able to dance like that!) and "Biggest Loser" (I'm captivated by the journeys of the people on the show and their stories that brought them there).  Recently, I caught a glimpse of Raquel Welch as she attended a star-studded event, and the commentator mentioned that she looked fabulous for someone 70 years of age!  I have to admit that was true, but how much has she paid to look that good?  How many face lifts has she endured?  And WHY?  Because the world expects her to look as good as she did 35 years ago!  Isn't that absurd?

In the natural, no one who reaches the age of 70 is wrinkleless -- it just isn't possible.  Yet Hollywood and the magazines in our culture negate the aging process by flaunting people who've had extensive plastic surgery, whose photographs have been enhanced by the computer or touched up to hide every blemish and wrinkle, and by using only rail-thin, young models.  We've become a nation that frowns on those with wrinkles or white hair, often creating an antagonistic atmosphere in the workplace and relegating those folks to the sidelines of life, as if their lives don't matter any longer.  So much emphasis is placed on the young, the vibrant, those who are thin or those who have muscular physiques, that we as a nation have lost the respect of those who've lived life long and well.  What has happened to the dignity that used to be bestowed on those who grew old with grace?  Have we overlooked the fact that to grow old is a blessing from above, that all of our days are numbered by our Creator? 
I'm saddened every time I hear or read of a young person dying, either by accident or by disease, because that person has stood before the throne of God and has had to give an account of his abbreviated life.  Not one of us knows the length of our days.  Living every day as if it were our last is the only way to live; we have only the moment that exists in the now.  We are not guaranteed the next hour, much less the next day.  I've been blessed with over 61 years now.  Many do not reach my age.  My mother-in-law just turned 88, and if I'm blessed with that many years, I've got 27 more to go!  But there's no way of knowing if I'll live to be that old.

When I was a young girl, I used to look at people who were 60+ and think they were ancient -- many of them looked very old.  Now that I've passed that threshhold, I realize that age is a state of mind, and if you think you're old, you'll look old, feel old, and act old!  As for me, I still work out, still power-walk, still stay active with all the grandkids, and still enjoy my life as much as I can.  My grandfather lived to be 94, and he wasn't old because he had a heart full of life and vitality until his last few months.  The same was true for his sister, my great aunt, who died when she was 96.  They loved life, they loved the Lord, and they embraced and ran with what was handed to them in the final stages of life.  I only pray that I can embrace the aging process and all that may come with it as they did.  I'm determined not to get old before my time.

The next time you see a white-haired elderly person with a face etched in wrinkles, look at that face as a work of art created by God Almighty, a canvas portraying the struggles, triumphs, and joys of life.  Each wrinkle, each crease, has a story to tell, and even though the body may age, the spirit remains young.  If you're fortunate enough to have family members in their 60's, 70's, 80's and beyond, talk to them about their youth, how things were when they were young, because once they pass away, all of their memories will go with them.  Such people are rare treasures to be cherished and respected.  Family is our greatest inheritance.  Keep it close and precious.

Survived!

We are still alive, and so are the grandkids -- but only 3 of them!  No, we didn't do away with one!  Let me explain.  Wilson was sick Saturday with runny eyes and nose and it was best that he stayed home, so we had only 3 grandchildren, not 4 as we had anticipated. 

I had to pick up Ben (15 months old) and Niland (3 years 3 months) on Saturday close to the RBC Center in Raleigh, where their parents were going to attend a conference, but the usually 17-minute-long trip took an hour and 5 minutes due to the North Carolina State Fair occurring at the same time right next to the RBC Center.  When I finally switched cars with Nate and Bee in order to avoid switching kids and car seats, I headed off in a direction that was new to me in order to avoid the traffic jam on I-40.  I had to call my husband to direct me home as I didn't have a clue as to my location, although I knew I was headed in the right direction.  Niland heard me talking to my husband on the phone and hollered, "Hi, Papa Bob!"  He asked what Papa was doing, and I told him that he was helping me find our house.  Later in the day, when we were running around the back yard having fun, Niland abruptly stopped what he was doing, wrapped his arms around my husband's legs, and said, "Thanks for helping us find your house, Papa."  While in the car, I was also strictly instructed by Niland to watch "Benners", as he calls his little brother, because "he runs fast."  Yes, sir! 

We got home about an hour and 40 minutes after I left the house, and Cooper was there but was sleeping in his car, having fallen fast asleep on the way over.  His mother, Ellen, stayed with us until he awoke, and then he wasn't too pleased about being left and gave an Oscar-winning performance for us as his mother quietly departed.  We quickly diverted his attention to sliding down the slide and playing with Niland, and his tears quickly dried.  The afternoon was spent swinging and sliding, running up and down the slope in the yard, exploring the flower garden, digging in the dirt, playing ball, blowing bubbles, and eating at the picnic table!  Later we took our two strollers, strapped Ben in one and went for a walk with Niland and Cooper taking turns riding in the other stroller.  Papa suggested that maybe they could help push Bennie, so Cooper jumped at the chance and started pushing the stroller via the basket at the bottom in the back.  He was all bent over but was really pushing that stroller -- I was just guiding it.  He kept saying, "I can hear Bennie!  I can hear Bennie!"

When we returned home from the walk, we pulled out some Play Doh and started having fun, but I quickly moved the kids' table off the rug and onto the hardwood floors.  Play Doh does not come out of carpet easily!  We squished and punched, shaped and smashed, made snakes and balls, and had a great time.  In the meantime, Bennie, who is too young to do Play Doh, discovered my black cat, Sammy, and gave him a huge hug while he slept on a kitchen chair.  Definitely displeased, Sammy bolted for the door, and I let him outside, which caused Bennie to go back outside, so we followed after putting away the Play Doh.  More play outside, storytime by Papa, and more munchies filled the afternoon, and before we knew it, it was time for supper.  We ordered dinner from Bob Evan's down the street about 2 miles, Papa went to pick it up, Cooper's parents returned, dinner arrived, and as we spread things out, Nate and Bee arrived.  Bennie was already digging into his spaghetti and green beans, but he really loved the rolls the most.  Dinner was on the chaotic side and there was little left, but everyone was happy.  In a whirlwind of activity, everyone left after helping clean up from dinner, and we waved goodbye and sighed a collective sigh of relief.  We had SURVIVED!  And rather well, if I might add.

That evening around nine o'clock, I realized how absolutely exhausted I was, but it was a good exhausted, borne from loving on family and doing what I love to do.  It was a great day!  I hope you have days like this which, although exhausting and sometimes a little stressful, are what makes life worth living. 

Grab one of your kids and/or grandkids and hug them today.  We're not promised tomorrow.

Will We Survive?

Tomorrow is Saturday, and my husband and I will have -- voluntarily, mind you -- four of our grandchildren to ourselves for about 5 hours.  Now, you have to understand that they are all boys and range in age from 15 months to 3 years and 3 months old!  WHAT WERE WE THINKING? 

Two of the boys, the youngest and the oldest, are brothers, and the other two are cousins -- well, they're all cousins to each other, but only two of the boys are siblings.  We offered to take the two brothers so their parents could attend a conference in Raleigh, and then we informed the other mothers that we'd be glad to have the other two boys over so all of them could play together.  We have plans -- to play outside on the swingset; to run around the yard and play catch; to quietly (we hope!) watch a Veggie Tales video; to take a walk up and down the cul-de-sac; and to make smushy things out of Play Doh!  Oh, and we'll try to get the lively little arms and legs to sit still long enough to read a story to them!  Do you think we'll succeed?

I'll let you know who comes out relatively unscathed -- the grandkids or the grandparents!  Have a great Saturday! 

Blessings!

Sometimes, when things are really dry -- both physically and spiritually -- it seems as if the dryness will last forever.  We were approaching the end of September with weeks of no substantial rains and the likelihood that the month would go down as the dryest on record with record-breaking temperatures on many days.  However, the last five days of the month took a dramatic turn, dumping inches of rain on thirsty land, flooding creeks and small streams, and bringing down leaves that had dried due to lack of moisture.  Our yard, after absorbing almost seven inches of rain in four days, is now a soggy sponge.  The rain also brought cooler temperatures, and now, rather than being 20 degrees above normal, we are looking at and enjoying (?) below normal temperatures.  The coming days are forecast to provide even cooler temperatures, keeping us about 13 degrees below normal.  What a rollercoaster ride!  From famine to feast in rain, and from too much heat to not enough -- at least in my opinion.  Oddly, the few surviving tomato vines are setting fruit, and if we can keep temperatures in the 70's and 60's for about six weeks, they will ripen.  Oh, to have a late-season garden tomato after so few due to the extreme heat and lack of rain!

God's blessings are freely given, both to believers and unbelievers, and no one should take for granted those blessings.  Even as I basked in the blessing of rain again, my heart was challenged by God in the area of living radically for Him and giving radically to Him.  A friend of mine gave me a copy of "Crazy Love" by Frances Chan, and I've been reading that during my lunch break and being fully convicted by the Holy Spirit that I've been a lukewarm Christian.  It's so easy to slide into lukewarm that most of us probably don't even know we're there and think that we're living an exemplary Christian life.  Wrong!  Please pick up a copy of this book for yourselves and read, and you'll understand why I say that.  And during this past week, God used that book, as well as circumstances in my life and the Word that was spoken from the pulpit on Sunday, to challenge my husband and I to be extravagant givers.  All of us give on a level that does not impact our lifestyles; rarely do any of us give sacrificially -- meaning that our giving causes us to do without, cut back, or postpone a purchase.  No, we all give safely from our abundance.  Yet 52% of the world lives on less than $2 per day, and we here in the United States do not understand that we are extremely rich compared to the rest of the world.  Instead, we compare ourselves to the Joneses, to our neighbors, our extended family, and look at what we DO NOT have rather than what we have.  We hoard stuff that we don't need, eat ourselves into obesity, and charge ourselves into debt living beyond our wealthy means!  All of us are guilty, including me! 

On Sunday, October 3, my husband and I participated in a Walk to Stop Child Trafficking Now (http://www.sctnow.org/) in Raleigh, North Carolina.  There were numerous other walks held in several states across the country.  I had signed on to be a team leader and sadly had only one other lady sign up to walk with my husband and me -- and I had petitioned many friends in our rather large church to join us.  Deeply saddened at the lack of response from our community, both church-going and non-church-attending, my husband and I upped our giving by about 20 times from what we had given at the time I had signed on as a team captain.  We were both convinced that we would please God by giving to help stop the crime of child slavery, and yet we still didn't impact our lifestyle one bit.  Oh, we took a chunk out of our savings -- our security blanket -- but we still have it.  We could have given more! 

After reading Chan's book, I think he's right on -- that we in America have become so accustomed to sitting in the lap of luxury that we don't have a clue what it is to give sacrificially; that we've become complacent and think that we deserve wealth; that we have closed our eyes to the needs of most of the people in this world; and that we'll give as long as it doesn't affect us.  We are all dams of prosperity, holding back and accumulating stuff that we don't need, can't afford, and all too often don't even use -- just because we can.  I'm challenging each and every one of us to pass along our blessings and not hoard them.  Ultimately, we will have to answer to God for how we used the wealth that he has bestowed upon us.  Let's all try to give extravagantly! 

Gardening without Rain

This summer has seen record-breaking temperatures in North Carolina.  So far, we've surpassed the number of days with 90 degrees or better by three days and are well on our way of crushing the old record, whatever it was.  The coming week is forecast to have another series of days in the mid to upper 90's despite the fact that the first day of Fall is Thursday.  On top of the extremely constantly high temperatures, we've suffered from a severe lack of rainfall, currently running about 8 inches behind for the year, and most of that shortfall occurring during the last four months, which has resulted in crispy grass and dying shrubs.  Going without rain for weeks at a time has caused every living plant, tree, and shrub to suffer, and leaves are now turning yellow and brown and dropping to the ground as a result.

Last winter, I grew and then sold during the spring 757 heirloom tomato plants, 19 varieties in all, and planted 15 of those in my own garden, expecting a bumper tomato crop.  There's nothing better, to my tastebuds, than sinking one's teeth into a warm tomato picked right off the vine, ripe and juicy, but the weather conditions have not been condusive to vegetable gardening.  I'm still waiting for those tomatoes!  With temperatures exceeding 100 degrees several times and no cloud cover, the few tomatoes that did set and turn red literally cooked on the vine, the strength of the sun's rays breaking down their tissue during the day.  I learned to pick the few tomatoes I got before they ripened and in the morning if the day was predicted to be extremely hot again, which was about every single day.  Tomatoes and other vegetables don't set fruit when they have to fight to stay alive during extreme conditions; they flower but drop the buds to conserve energy.  It has been a battle to get anything from the earth this summer in the Triangle region of North Carolina, and all the thoughts I had of gorging on tomatoes, canning and freezing them, selling some and giving some away, vanished weeks and weeks ago.

I told my husband the other day that I realized why I didn't feel like there was a summer and that I didn't enjoy it -- I literally spent my life watering the gardens, both vegetable and flower, and all the pots on the deck for at least 1-2 hours every single day.  My time was spent keeping things going.  Our water bill reflected that effort.  And yet we got very little from the garden.  The only thing that did well were the cucumber vines; I'm going to purchase the same variety next year because I've never harvested so many long, perfect cucumbers in my 40+ years of gardening.  Oddly, now that the season is winding down, we're getting some tomatoes on vines that we didn't even plant, volunteer ones that showed up down the slope by the compost bin, and even though I haven't watered them, they are thriving and setting fruit now that the nights are cooler.  When temps were 100 in the day and 80 at night, that was impossible to do.  Hopefully, those tomatoes will have time to mature and ripen before frost sets in.  The other tomato plants are spent and almost completely brown.  No amount of water and cooler temperatures will revive them. 

Gardening without rain is like trying to do good without God.  It just isn't the same.  Yes, you will produce some fruit, but it won't be what it could be if God were the reason for your good deeds.  Just as my gardens need rain from the sky to survive, we need God to give us the strength we need to produce fruit that will bring glory to His name.  We must plant seeds and allow Him to do the watering. 

Butterfly Kisses

Butterflies and little girls -- no prettier combination exists in my mind.  With my abundant flowers, butterflies are everywhere in our yard, and I've discovered that butterflies won't fly away if you approach them from behind.  Apparently they don't see you, and you can actually touch them -- even with your nose.  The numerous tiger swallowtails that frequent my yard often have a wing span of 4 - 5 inches, and they are gorgeous beyond description.  I can tell if a particular butterfly is rather young or old depending on the condition of its wings.  Young butterflies have perfect wings with bright colors, while older ones often have pieces of their wings missing, broken by the storms of life, and fading colors.  So far, I've found 2 Monarchs fallen to the ground in my gardens, their life cycle complete.  I'm still finding Monarch caterpillars, but despite numerous caterpillars, I've yet to find a chrysalis anywhere in my yard, so I'm keeping a vigilant eye for them.  I'm continually amazed that so many caterpillars can eat my plants and then 'disappear' when they chrysalize, making it a challenge for me to locate even one!

My granddaughter, Cami, loves my flower gardens.  When the wall was built this past April, she asked if she could walk through the garden, and I told her certainly she could, so off she trotted, skipping and dancing through the short path.  When she emerged, she exclaimed, "It's just like Duke Gardens!"  Cami is a lover of nature and animals, so when she's at our home, I spend time with her exploring our yard.  We never have any trouble locating little toads; they are so numerous in our yard that one has to be careful not to step on them!  Recently when she was over, I explained to her that she could 'kiss' a butterfly and that it would 'kiss' her back if she could get her nose up to one, so off she went.  Actually getting her nose on a butterfly was a challenge because every time she got close to one, it would fly away, but she never gave up, patiently following the butterflies as they flitted about.  Finally, she was able to get her nose on one, and the butterfly flapped its wings slowly against her face!  What a precious moment for her!  She was enthralled with the experience!  The attached photo is a true Kodak moment.

Just as Cami had to chase the butterflies to get what she was after, so we too must chase our dreams.  With my 61st birthday looming this weekend, I realize that I still have unfulfilled dreams, dreams that are worth pursuing.  Dreams give us hope for something better, something accomplished, something completed.  The Bible says that without hope, people perish.  Pursue your dreams; keep hope alive no matter what desires dwell in your heart.  Seek first the kingdom of God, put your hope in the Lord, and He will bring your dreams to pass.

Where has time gone?

Here it is, Labor Day weekend staring me in the face, and I'm wondering whatever happened to summer.  Not once have I been swimming with my grandkids; not once have my husband and I gotten on our bikes and gone for a ride; not once have we strapped on our hiking boots and taken a hike; not once have we put our canoe in the water; and not once have we taken a day trip for rest and relaxation. 

Instead, our weekends have been filled with extended family matters related to my mother-in-law, entertaining friends (moreso than family), hosting events at our home, and simply doing what needs to be done on the weekends when you work full-time.  And now summer is coming to a close, and I feel as if I've missed it.

Sadly, we got caught up in a flurry of activity, some of which we couldn't control but some of which we could control, and we sacrificed time with our families for it.  I've had to repent of my part in this, and I'm seeking this weekend to reconnect -- to go swimming with my grandkids; to plan for a trip to one of the local lakes where we can plop the canoe in the water, swim and play in the sand with the little ones, and take turns paddling around the lake; to plan a day hike with the older grandkids; to plan a day hike with just me and my husband; to sit back and relax and watch the butterflies and the birds in our back yard.  Sometimes I feel as if I spend so much time tending the flowers that I often don't take the time to enjoy them. 

Today, I hurried home for lunch after dropping some books off at my church, and while I was eating, I wandered through the flower beds and saw the biggest tiger swallowtail butterfly that I have ever seen!  So gorgeous, bright, and large!  Had I not gone home, I would have missed this fragile creature, but it again reminded me that we are here on this earth for only a brief time, and that butterfly was once a caterpillar but can now fly, and likewise, we are in our 'caterpillar' stage on this earth until given our heavenly wings.  Butterflies live only a few short weeks, and comparatively, we live a much longer time, but when looked at in the light of thousands of years, we are but a blink of an eye, a vapor in the wind, and then we are gone. 

I've learned that time is a commodity that we spend; often we waste time, or we spend it on meaningless stuff, or we burn it, or we relish and savor every minute of it.  I feel as if I've wasted much of my time this summer, and there's no way I can get it back.  It's gone for good.  But I can determine to allocate and spend my future time in more meaningful, more purposeful ways.  Babies will be babies only so long; toddlers will be entering kindergarten before we know it; elementary age kids will be middle-schoolers in the blink of an eye; and high-schoolers will be heading off to college before we can say goodbye.  So, yes, I regret wasting so much time these last few months (those minutes and hours over which I had complete control), but I do endeavor to spend my time wisely from this day forward. 

How about you?  Have you wasted, lost, or burned time?  Have you lost your connections with family due to 'busyness'?  If so, stop and listen to your heart, the hearts of your loved ones, and the heart of the Creator, and then hold time tightly in your hand, spending it on the things in life that matter the most.