Side-lined

Life has a way of taking unexpected turns, and I'm experiencing one of those turns.  On May 2, as I was getting dressed for work, my back started hurting, and within 2 minutes, pain radiated down my right leg and made it impossible to put weight on my right foot.  In other words, I couldn't walk.  I immediately knew what had happened.  A disk had slipped out of place.  I had experienced a herniated disk in the fall of 2007 and ultimately had  to have back surgery to repair it, so when this happened, I knew I had to get to my orthopaedic surgeon as quickly as possible. 

I got in to see another doctor in the same office later that morning; my doctor was in surgery.  X-rays were taken, revealing a compressed disk.  I was put on medication and told that I'd feel better by the time the medicine was gone, but I didn't.  In fact, I got worse and called the doctor the following Monday and had an MRI on Tuesday.  I will see my original doctor tomorrow morning.  While I've waited at home, resting and doing a lot of reading and needlework, I've finally started feeling better.  The pain is now greatly reduced, but weakness remains in my right ankle.  I'm eager to hear what the MRI revealed and am praying that surgery is not required. 

I was supposed to go to my son's house and help with the new baby last Friday and today (Monday), but that obviously didn't happen.  My husband and I went over for a brief visit yesterday afternoon, and it was hard for the little ones to understand that Nana has a hurt back and can't pick them up.  And it's difficult not to pick them up, especially when Benny comes to me with his arms up in the air.  So my plans to spend time helping with the new baby have fallen through, and I feel like I've let my daughter-in-law down, even though it wasn't intentional.  So I'm side-lined until my back heals, and I don't like it one bit.  I've not been to work since May 2, and there is only so much reading, needlework, and TV watching one can do before it gets boring, and I've hit that place.

Even though I don't know why this happened, I do know that God allowed it to happen, and I have to rest in that knowledge that He is still in control.  Finding my rest in Him is all I can do.  I can't change the situation and can't make my back magically heal.  As I rest in Him, I've found a place of acceptance for what is, and that's all I can do.